I Know.

I know what we share.

There's no denying the fire in your eyes when we look at each other. There's no taking back the things you've said, so innocent and yet so completely… not. There's no hiding the sparks which so clearly fly between us when we get close… so close, god so close lately… but never touching.

So why am I so easily thrown?

Sometimes, it seems so absolutely clear to me. If our situations were different, there'd be no separating us. There'd be no crises of confidence, no fears of misinterpreting the crystal clear signals we send each other. You would be in my arms at this very moment.

Our hearts are already interlocked. Have been for some time. Months? Years? A decade? I don't even know anymore. Each of us, independently finding our own ways to try to love the other while carefully staying on the correct side of the line.

Maybe once or twice a toe has crossed it, just a tad.

This is truth.

There have been too many episodes, too much has happened between us for it to be anything else.

So, when I do get thrown… I do my best to remember that. Remember that our situations are… what they are. Not ideal, not for us, not for us.

Sometimes I fail. Yesterday, I failed.

But I'm getting better at picking myself up after.

Remembering the moments… those little moments which just. keep. coming. That helps. That there are more of them all the time. That helps.

But, god. One of these days, that line needs to be obliterated.

This love we share is a force unto itself, a force of nature. We can deny it all we want, but one day it's going to take us. It's going to sweep us up, sweep us away. I just don't see how it could not.

It's up to us to make sure it takes us to a place we want to be. That place, for me, is with you. By your side.

How about you?